My Book Page 6

  Matt

  I had one goal for the day.

  I was determined to approach Brian, explain the situation, and get his blessing. I, of course, was not expecting it to go so smoothly, but I was adept at persuading my partner. Though this time the subject matter was his sister—not something we had discussed previously.

  I was not allowing Amanda to get away from me again—not even if that was Brian’s wish.

  The confident swagger that I held fueled my inner confidence as it always had in the past. The expression “fake it until you make it” was accurate beyond belief and the reason I had made it so far in the industry. My polished dark shoes clanked on the tile, and the eyes of every lower level employee veered to me in respect and admiration. I had earned each of those reactions and was no longer fazed by them.

  As I reached my office and passed it by, I didn’t allow myself to dwell on the realization of what I was preparing to do. I didn’t allow my hesitation to hold sway over my demeanor. I never did.

  And then I opened the door without so much as a knock and restrained myself from staggering back at the situation before me. Brian was utterly frantic as he slammed his fist into his desk repeatedly. He ground his teeth and his red face was full of unrelenting fury. “Hey,” I shouted, kicking the door shut behind me to muffle the noises within.

  Brian’s attention snapped to me and within his eyes was a rage that I had rarely seen on his ordinarily restrained face. He did not make a habit of publicly revealing his temper, though we both knew it swarmed beneath his intricate mask of calm control. “She left. The bitch left me,” he shouted viciously, slamming an open palm into his desk.

  I didn’t dare to move as I inquired. “Who left you?”

  His laugh was bitter and cruel. “You told her, didn’t you? I knew you were no good. I will ruin you,” he shouted at me, flying from his chair and barreling in my direction.

  If he were thinking clearly, Brian would not have made the mistake of approaching me violently. He may have been older and slightly larger, but I had the advantage. I was in better shape, and at the moment, saner. I saw the fist coming, but backed away and shoved him back roughly. I was in control of the situation, but if he tried to throw another punch.

  I barred my teeth and spat, “Calm the hell down and tell me what happened, because if you try to hit me again, it will not end well for you.” My tone got through to him in a way that a calm and controlled tone would not have—not when he was so irate.

  “Megan left,” he said, no less angry than before. Only this time, he did not approach. “You were the only one who knew about Val,” Brian said.

  My lips tightened before I deigned to reply. “You were not private when with Valerie. It was only a matter of time before news reached your wife. I had nothing to do with it.” As I stared into his cruel eyes, I realized that it would have been the worst possible time to mention my relationship with his sister.

  “She took Charlie,” Brian said, his voice cracking. My heart broke for the man as I realized what that meant. Not only was he losing his wife, but also his son. “She won’t let me see him, and there is nothing I can do about it. I fucked up and she wants me to pay.”

  My gaze remained unflinching as I watched even his most discreet micro-expressions. There was no doubt that he was devastated about his son. He knew that he was making a mistake with his extramarital relationship, but if Brian had known that he’d lose his son too, I doubted he would have proceeded. “Why did she leave? Are you sure it was because she found out about the affair?” I asked.

  To my surprise, Brian shook his head. Megan gave up the entirety of her life to be with Brian and raise a child. I found it hard to believe that she would have left for no reason. The reason I came into the office flashed through my mind and my fists tightened at the thought of losing Amanda. “We got into an argument and I got angry,” Brian admitted. “I threw some things, and she probably got scared.”

  The lie fell through his teeth as if it was water flowing smoothly through a stream. Had it not been for the flick of his eyes to gauge my reaction, I would have believed him too. Brian didn’t gauge reactions when telling the truth. Only moments ago, he insinuated that she left because of his affair, so I had trouble deciding what to believe. “Scared? Do you want me to go talk to her?”

  There it was. The most dangerous question I could have asked came spewing from my mouth. It was a question that would put me directly in the line of fire if the argument ended poorly. But what shocked me most was Brian’s unsettled reaction to the question. “Don’t bother,” he said, tilting his head with a deep breath. “She’ll be back before I miss her,” he finished coldly. His anger shaped his mask into an expression of cool rage.

  I stood tall and straight-backed, wondering how his relationship got to that point. He used to be happy with his wife, but lately, I wasn’t so sure. “And you are okay with not seeing your son for a couple of days?” I asked, knowing that his son was his utmost concern.

  Brian walked back around his desk and took a seat. He fell back into his chair in exasperation and buried his face in his hands. I knew it was my cue to leave.

  I walked back into my office with the same cool swagger that I always maintained, but the rapid heartbeat that pounded in my ears was anything but calm. I sat in my chair and contemplated what the situation meant not only for Brian, but for the company and my relationship with his sister. When Brian emotionally spiraled out of control, he had a tendency to bring everyone down with him.

  I grabbed my phone and dialed a number I had memorized years ago. She didn’t answer for the first multiple rings, but finally, the ringing halted and breathing sounded on the other end of the line. “If he asked you to call me…,” Megan began.

  “He told me not to get in contact with you, actually,” I admitted. “But I was calling to check on you. He told me that you two got into an argument and that you took Charlie,” I prodded.

  I told myself I was calling for the well-being of both myself and the company, but it was more than that. I knew what Brian was capable of and I needed to ensure that his wife and child were safe. “Did he tell you why I left?” she asked. She spat the words as if they were poison in her mouth.

  My brows furrowed. “He got angry, threw some things and scared you,” I told her. “It’s completely normal to be afraid of someone with his temperament, but taking his child away from him is a bit much. He loves Charlie.” I did not defend their relationship, as Brian had destroyed that on his own accord.

  She scoffed. “He did far more than that, so next time you call me to defend him, get the full story first.”

  “What did he do?” My temper was swelling, but not because of Megan.

  “The lamp he shattered was a foot away from Charlie. The glass fell on top of him, and we are blessed that it didn’t leave more than a scratch,” she laughed bitterly. “And what he did to me was not forgivable, either.”

  I saw red. Every sound in my head went quiet, but I found myself ending the call with Megan adamantly. The roar of my blood filled my ears and my teeth ground instinctively. I thought about what he could have done to Megan—what he could have been doing all along. Brian isolated her in that house with their child, and anything could have happened.

  And then Amanda’s face flashed through my mind, intensifying the rage that was growing within me. Was Amanda impacted by his short temper in the same way that Meagan was?

  My chair crashed against the wall behind my desk as I stood. The icy rage within me was wrapping every tendril of its power around my limbs and mind as I charged through my door, and directly into Brian’s office. I didn’t know what I planned to say or do, but nothing good would have come from the encounter—not when Amanda’s well-being was fueling my actions.

  When his door slammed open, I locked my eyes upon his disorganized desk. And then looked to the chair in which he sat moments ago, but he was no longer there.

  Sixteen

  Amanda

&nb
sp; My job was irately mind numbing, and I did not go to law school for such insignificant work. Nevertheless, I dealt with it before packing my belongings and leaving after everyone else in my department was gone. My mind continued wandering to Matt. Had he spoken to Brian? My palms became clammy at the thought of Brian’s reaction to Matt and I sleeping together.

  I walked through the front door of the law firm and found the source of my nerves leaning against the building. From my angle, he looked like a male model striking a pose. I wanted to make small talk, but I found myself unable to do so with him looking so stunning. He turned his focus toward me and straightened. Every thread in the suit seemed to go taut and fall into place, making him look like a professional businessman.

  “You look beautiful,” he said. I knew he meant the compliment when I got a glimpse of the hungry lust in his eyes. “Ride with me?” he asked.

  I straightened myself to appear less enthralled by his voice. “I could use a ride to the elementary school,” I told him. “I need to pick up Aaron.”

  He nodded in agreement and led me to his car—the same convertible in which he took me during our ride around town. He opened the door for me like a gentleman and then sat in his own seat seconds later. “Did you talk to Brian?” I asked as he began driving through the parking lot. His fingers tightened on the steering wheel.

  “Not about us. Not yet,” he said. “Am I going to meet him?”

  I knew we were no longer talking about Brian. I shook my head immediately, no hesitation behind my action. “No. Not today,” I told him. I wasn’t sure if it was my way of protecting my son or protecting myself from the encounter. Matt could have been a good father, but I was unwilling to test the theory on our son—especially when he was so impressionable.

  He whipped his head toward me, and then looked back at the road. I knew it was his way of filtering what came from his mouth, as he said after a few moments: “I think I should meet my son. It would be good for him to know he has a father.” Matt’s words were snipped. They were said in the same tone that I used when defending a client whom I knew was guilty; concise, well thought out, and lacking an ounce of emotion.

  “Listen, I know that you want to meet him, but we need to do it at the right time. What kind of first impression would it make if you met him at school?” I asked, presenting another logical perspective.

  Matt pulled to a stoplight and met my eyes, dooming my argument in its tracks. His beautiful blue irises—the same ones as my son—pierced my soul. “He’s my son and I haven’t met him. Please, Amanda. I need to meet him. Don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

  Matt may have used the oldest trick in the book, but I found myself nodding in agreement. He grabbed my chin in a swift motion and pulled my mouth to his without any warning. He gave me no room to argue or disagree with the kiss. His warm lips oozed passion and the way his fingers tightened around my chin when I kissed back told me all I needed to know about his feelings.

  I nipped his lower lip as he pulled away and smiled at him teasingly. The dominating look I received caused my panties to grow wet under his gaze. A horn honked behind us, and I glanced toward the light that had turned green. Matt’s eyes did not waiver from mine. “The light’s green,” I teased.

  He looked back at the road, but spoke through his teeth. “Do you want to know what I am going to do to you for that?” he asked. The depth of his lust-filled voice sent a shiver down my spine.

  “What?” I asked breathlessly.

  “I am going to take off all of your clothes. I am going to carry you to my love-seat. You know the one I am talking about.” I imagined the love-seat sitting in the middle of his living room. “I will bend you over the side until your arms press into the cushions. I am going to grab you and fuck you hard enough that you see stars. And once I’m inside of you, I am not going to stop until you are screaming my name. I won’t stop until every drop of me is drained into you.”

  I didn’t realize I was panting or clutching my seatbelt until we pulled to a stop and the school was in sight. His voice was low and tender, but the words caused an insatiable ache to arise in my stomach.

  “Yes,” I found myself whispering.

  Matt placed the car in park, looking in my direction. “We’re just going to have to wait until we’re back at my house, I suppose,” he taunted with a smirk.

  I scowled as I tried to ignore the ache that he had caused. “I need to get Aaron,” I told him and unfastened my seatbelt.

  “I’ll wait here,” he said smugly.

  It was my turn to smirk, though my demeanor was a false facade. My insides were pure jelly after Matt’s detailed explanation of our next encounter. “My son will not be riding in a convertible. We are taking the bus home, and I will see you there at six.”

  I turned and walked away, shutting the passenger’s door behind me. Matt rolled down the window exactly as I had expected. “You said I could meet him,” he protested.

  I smiled but didn’t turn back. “You can at six. If you are one minute early or late, I won’t invite you inside.” With that, I was met with only silence.

  Aaron and I jumped on the bus and made it home within the hour. He talked nonstop about a book that they had been reading in class. “Mom, can we go to the bookstore and buy it?” he asked. His eyes were bright and optimistic, so I smiled and nodded.

  I unlatched the door to the apartment and allowed him inside before shutting and locking the door. I looked at the clock and found that it was a half hour until six. Aaron went sprinting to his bedroom and I sighed before opening my mouth to yell at him for running.

  Almost as soon as the first sound came out of my mouth, Aaron slowed to a walk and shouted “Sorry, mom.”

  I laughed and began preparing dinner for three. Instead of two burgers, I opened another package and made four. I threw some frozen veggies on the stove and mixed in half a stick of butter. I somehow lost track of time, but when a knock sounded on my door, I checked the time and found that it was six o’clock on the dot. I rushed to the door, unclasped each lock and opened it wide.

  “You changed,” I observed, looking him up and down. I had never seen Matt in clothing so casual, but the dark jeans and tight-fitting T-shirt suited him nicely.

  He smiled, not making a move to enter the house. “I didn’t want to meet my son in a suit and tie. I think he’ll relate a little better to this type of clothing.”

  I scanned him up and down once again before stepping out of the doorway. He accepted the silent invitation and walked through, his hands in his pockets.

  “Shoes off, thank you,” I commanded as he went to make his way into the living room. He paused, turning and looking back at me with raised eyebrows, as if to say ‘really?’ I nodded my head firmly, trying not to laugh as he quickly shuffled out of his leather boots and socks.

  Once that was done with, I was able to fully appreciate him, here, standing in my house as if it were his own. With Aaron also inside the apartment, it felt as if he was larger than life. He ate up the space and made my apartment feel far too small.

  “Are you sure you are ready for this?” I asked, though it was me who was unsure. “I’m not telling him who you are to him.”

  Matt nodded as if he already expected that I’d request such a thing. “It would make it easier on him if he met me with no expectations at first,” he added.

  I nodded and forced myself to speak. “Aaron,” I shouted. “I have someone who wants to meet you.”

  Aaron’s footfall fell across the apartment, starting with a run and then slowing to a walk after a few steps. When he turned the corner and saw Matt and I standing together, a wide smile found its way onto his adolescent face. “Are you my mom’s boyfriend?” he asked Matt immediately. I choked on a laugh.

  Matt looked mesmerized by the sight of our child. “I’d like to think so,” Matt said. I had never heard his voice so hesitant. I smiled, wondering when the “boyfriend” title was established.

  “Does th
at mean you will help my mom have another baby?” Aaron asked, and I scowled at him.

  “Aaron Nicholas,” I reprimanded. Matt snorted beside me. “That is not an appropriate question, young man.”

  Aaron looked genuinely confused. “Mom, everyone at school talks about how their moms have boyfriends and a lot of them have more babies.” I didn’t bother questioning his logic. He turned his attention back to Matt. “What’s your name?”

  “I’m Matt,” he said, extending his large hand to my son. Aaron examined it for a second before wrapping his small hand in a ball and giving Matt an innocent handshake.

  Aaron walked away after the introductions were made and began setting the table as he did every night. I didn’t trust him to do hard chores yet, but it was necessary for him to learn responsibility. “He has my eyes,” Matt said in amazement. I nodded and smiled at my son as he finished setting the third table placement. “And your nose.”

  “He came from both of us, you know.” My sarcasm was out of place as we watched our little boy do his daily task. “We need to put dinner on the table,” I told Matt, walking toward the kitchen. He was a few steps behind me, but followed closely.

  Matt and I carried dinner to the table and sat across from Aaron as he dug into his meal. I remained silent and allowed him to take in every aspect of the evening and of Aaron’s routine. After a few seconds, he spoke again. “Your mother said that you like books. Do you have a favorite?”

  Aaron shrugged and continued eating, but I knew what was going to come out of his mouth before it did. “Captain Underpants,” he said easily. Matt launched into a conversation with Aaron about the books as if he had read them himself. I found humor in imagining Matt reading such silly children’s books, but Aaron loved the attention and his food was quickly forgotten.

  For once, I didn’t use my motherly tone and tell him to eat his vegetables. Because Matt looked just as thrilled as Aaron, I kept my maternal orders to myself and allowed them to leave the table and construct a miniature Lego fortress before bedtime.